Germans Act As If....

Those damned cringy Germans always act as if,

They are God‘s gift,

while Satan looms perpetually in their midst,

They remain his tools at his disposal,

Mere puppets whose strings he drops and lifts.


Those creepy, deeply disturbed Germans always act as if,

They can flip my switch,

As they implore me to drop into the ditch

Made by their hands according to their wish,

Blood of the suffering is their drink of choice, human flesh their preferred dish.


Those demonic, dastardly Germans always act as if,

Germany is all that and a bag of chips,

Repeating false narratives of prosperity being at your fingertips,

while plotting to enslave you with their chains and whips.


Those craven and depraved Germans always act as if,

They are the face of humanity and not an infected zit,

Believing the earth revolves around them while they are but a blip,

Girdled with greed they continue to bleed the unwitting who get enveloped in their grip.


Those dumb, dim witted Germans always act as if,

They are more clever than a lowly dip shit,

Dense and dull as they are, they will never get the gist.

Pretense, they are full of it,

And anal retentiveness is a disorder which drives them,

Not something that makes them quit.


Those shyster, shifty Germans always act as if,

Because I am humble I don’t carry a big stick,

and won’t punch them in the face with one of my fists

Whenever the occasion may happen to call for it.


Those indecent, detestable Germans always act as if,

Their kind is the most humanly fit,

When undoubtedly at the table of the human family they do not even sit,

Fully laden with irony and cold hearts of iron,

With lying lips they speak, wet with sarcasm which endlessly drips.


Those mean and demeaning Germans always act as if,

Their constant menacing and schadenfreude somehow makes me twitch,

As if Christ isn’t coming back and they are not at the top of the Judgement List,

As if the Lake of Fire is not for them and God’s wrath won’t burn them to a crisp.

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