The BIG LIE of “German Efficiency” Objectively Debunked

As an American who comes from an American culture which provides and demands overall good customer service in any establishment catering to the public, I find Germany on the whole to be quite frustrating to say the least. In Germany, public and private establishments alike who cater to both citizens and non-citizens are uniform across the board in terms of their total apathy for satisfying their customers. 

All offices in Germany, both public and private are firmly entrenched in a culture of apathy about not only their own work, but about the people they serve regardless of whether the people whom these German offices serve are paying customers. One cannot leave the majority of German establishments both public and private without the feeling of being humiliated, slighted, degraded, ignored and chastised all at once. Needless to say, to any sentient, sensitive human it’s always a shocking experience, no matter how long you have lived here. For some reason, even after more than a decade living in Germany, being treated as a reject and as if I’m being done a favor for spending my hard earned money for various services has not been something I can or want to get used to.

Employees of both public and private German establishments regularly conduct, (rather misconduct) themselves in a manner that would get most, if not all of them terminated should they misconduct themselves in such a crude manner in America. Again, the culture of the industries providing services in America are on the opposite end of the spectrum, directly opposed to the piss-poor German service culture. 

Anyone who has lived in Germany knows that the foreign owned establishments in Germany are generally exceptions to the rule of poor to nonexistent service, and the non-European immigrants who own these businesses generally provide great customer service and recognize the value in such a business practice.

German employees of German establishments simply could care a lot less about doing the jobs they have been paid to do, most of them take zero pride in what they do and want to get paid as much as possible for the least amount of work. Customers are treated with disdain by Germans because they force Germans to do what they absolutely hate, which is actual work!

The fact that I recognize this allows me not to take their uniform behavior personally, shocking and nerve-wracking as their behavior continually may be, because I recognize that for the most part, Germans are just a lazy people who hate themselves, therefore they hate most everyone they encounter and hold them in as much contempt as they subconsciously hold themselves in. 

But the fact remains that it’s impossible for Germans to be “efficient” when the vast majority of them are allergic to work and prove this fact whenever you require that they do their damned jobs. 

Now, let’s discuss the objective truth of the abysmal state of German services in both the public and private sector. 


Objective Truth About German Services (Public Sector)

In my humble opinion, customer reviews are an accurate measure of the overall customer satisfaction or dissatisfaction especially in Germany where customer reviews are rare due to the fact that Germany’s service culture forces customers to accept poor service without question and without objection. It is a totally oppressive system which the Germans themselves are also subjected to and hate, but as a people the Germans are so defeated and battered into submission that they just accept the status quo. 

With that aside, let’s take a look at some of the online ratings of a handful of German institutions which serve a broad range of people in Germany. 

Ausländerbehörde Berlin/Berlin Immigration Office

 The civil servants working in this office are downright nasty. True scumbags who are some of the first points of contact for new immigrants and who do everything in their power to alienate their clients and make them start wishing they never came to Germany in the first place. It’s nightmarish dealing with this office and a lawyer is highly recommended when dealing with them. But don’t take my word for it, let’s look at an objective online rating from actual customers. 



Berlin Immigration Office Reviews

What do you know, the immigration office in Berlin, the capital, and biggest city in Germany which is responsible for handling the residence documents and regulating the residence status of the majority of Berlin’s foreigners has a whopping 2.4 star rating out of 661 reviews as of today! What makes this even more sad is that the rating would be even lower if not for the obvious fake reviews left by butt-hurt employees who gave their own place of work 5 stars undoubtedly after being embarrassed in the bad reviews. Germans only feel ashamed when they are exposed as the Neanderthals that they are to an international audience where they can no longer control the situation and the narrative. Neanderthal is an actual town in Germany by the way, no coincidence there. In their shame, they feel no remorse, only shame that their nakedness was uncovered for the world to see. 

The ratings and reviews for the federal immigration offices are no different on the opposite end of the country in Köln, which is Germany’s fourth most populous city. 

Köln Immigration Office Reviews

An astounding 2.6 stars out of 77 reviews!  

However, as sad as these ratings and reviews may be for the largest cities in Germany, Munich, the third largest city sets the bar even lower than Berlin and Köln with a farcical 1.8 star rating out of 459 reviews!

Münich Immigration Office Reviews

It may be laughable to an outsider looking in who does not live in Germany and doesn’t have to experience such an unbelievable culture, but to the people who live here and go through the mill of the corrupt, inept German bureaucracy, it’s definitely no joke and very nightmarish. 

Generally across the board, no matter what kind of public German office, services are generally comparable to the services listed above and as such, there are low ratings across the board for all public German institutions. 

Objective Truth About German Services (Private Sector) 

There is little difference between the public sector and private sector in terms of level of service provided. The little difference there is lies in the fact that there is a lot less accountability in the public sector because civil servants have secure jobs for life which will pay them regardless of how poor their service is and how much customers complain. Civil servants know this and they have little incentive to change as they will continue to draw a paycheck and benefits regardless of whether they are efficient in their work and provide a good service, or not. 

There is little to no accountability in the private sector as well, but private sector workers do have less job security than civil servants in the public sector. Many of the largest private companies in Germany are privately owned with the German government pulling the strings in the background in order to avoid attention and liability. Let’s take Deutsche Bahn, for instance. The ostensibly private company which is propped up and supported by the German state. 

Deutsche Bahn serves millions of customers every year, both German and non-German alike. As one of those millions of customers, I dread using its long distance trains due to perpetual delays and bad customer service. Apparently thousands of other customers agree as DB has an embarrassing rating regardless of where you search online.

Deutsche Bahn Trip Advisor Rating


The ratings get even more shameful on Trust Pilot:


Obviously the Germans have been up to their old tricks again, perpetuating big lies which have no basis in fact, just as Joseph Goebbels suggested in the Nazi era. Germans put out false narratives and stereotype themselves as an “efficient” people when their level of output is so poor and slow that countless numbers of people have taken to the internet to voice their dissatisfaction with German “efficiency”! This is the “big lie” at work, just as the Germans intended.

I agree that Germans are efficient liars, cheaters, racists and overall vagabonds. Germans are efficient at being inefficient when it comes to actual work, however. 


  • @saynotogerms: thanks for your comment! I just may take your advice!

  • Efficient at been inefficient. I love that. You should promote your blog on expat sites


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